Autobot Autocorrect
by AutobotSoShi
Summary: (TFP) When the Autobots meet autocorrect hilarity ensues! Prepare for awkward situations and crazy shenanigans! Rated T for language.
1. Chapter 1

Hey! This is just a silly little crackfic I've come up with to help with writers block. Enjoy!

**BEWARE! This story contains sexual language and cursing, read at your own risk!**

* * *

**Jack: **My penis broke and it spilt all over my pants :(

**Jack**: Oh god...pen! I broke my pen!

**Miko**: Bahahaha! Are you f*cking serious?

**Miko:** I totally love you for this dude! You just made my week!

* * *

**Bulkhead:** Hey Miko, how is your day going?

**Miko: **Terrible! I have detention already! I hate manboobs T.T

**Miko**: Lmao. MONDAYS! Not manboobs!

**Bulkhead:** What are manboobs?

* * *

**Raf: **Guess what Bee? I have a new toy car!

**Bee: **That's great Raf. What type of car is it?

**Raf: **It's a corpse!

**Bee: **A CORPSE!

**Raf: **Oh no! No! It's a camaro! Lol :)

**Bee: ** You scare me sometimes o.O

* * *

**Smokescreen: **Bumblebee where are you? I've been sexting you 4 ages!

**Smokescreen: **Oh frag texting! Not the other thing!

**Bee: ** Bahahahaha XD

**Bee:** This is hilarious! You've just made Ratchet laugh!

**Smokescreen: ** Damn you auto carrot!

* * *

**Optimus: **Agent Fowler, have you left for the meeting with General Bryce yet?

**Agent Fowler: **Sorry! I'm still in my basement fondling the landlady.

**Agent Fowler: **I am fondling the landlady!

**Optimus: **Please keep the details of your interface life to yourself Agent Fowler.

**Agent Fowler**: Sorry! Quake happening again!

**Optimus:** An earthquake?

**Agent Fowler**: I'm fondling the laundry!

**Optimus: **Ok, you're fondling your landlady in your basement during an earthquake.

**Optimus: **I'll tell General Bryce you'll be a bit late.

* * *

**Arcee: **Ultra Magnus, can you help me? I'm stuck...

**Ultra Magnus: **Where?

**Arcee: **I'm stuck underneath a massive cock inside the erect mine...

**Ultra Magnus:** What?

**Arcee: **Primus! I'm stuck under a rock inside the erect mine!

**Arcee: **The energon mine slaggit!

**Ultra Magnus:** I'll groundbridge to your coordinates

**Arcee: **Thank you :)


	2. Chapter 2

Hey guys, I'm back with a new chapter :)

ILikeToSneeze: Thanks for the review :D I'll try my best :)

KHGiggle: I have Autocorrect, it hasn't done this to me yet though :)

Guest: I'm glad you like it :)

Grace: Thank you, I will try :D

TheAwesome101: Thanks :)

* * *

**Raf**: Eek! I have 2 go 2 the dentist tomorrow!

**Jack: **Don't worry, everything will be fine Raf I can feel it in my boner!

**Jack: **AH! I meant bones! I hate my phone!

**Raf: ** You just made me feel WAY better XD. Thanks!

* * *

**Miko: **Bulk, can u help me? I need to tune my goat again :I

**Miko: **I need to tune my goat!

**Miko: **MY GOAT

**Miko: **My g-u-i-t-a-r

**Bulkhead: ** hehe, lol I'll help u

**Miko: **Thanks! x

* * *

**Arcee: **Sooo tired! Wheeljack has been tea hong me how to wire a grenade.

**Arcee: **He's been TEACHING me.

**Arcee: **WTF is tea hong?

**Smokescreen: **Is it like tea with a happy ending?

**Smokescreen: **LOL, I want some :P

* * *

**Jack: **What's 4 dinner Mom?

**June: **I'm making some tameness.

**June: **I mean I'm making tampon!

**Jack: **wtf Mom? O.o

**June: **Dang spell check! I'm making ramen :)

* * *

**Smokescreen: **I just finished watching Paranormal Activity with Jack, I'm so scared now!

**Smokescreen: **I feel like I'm gonna have a pancake attack!

**Smokescreen: **Fraggin autocorrect! I meant panic attack.

**Ratchet: **I was way more worried when you said pancake attack.

* * *

**June: **Jack, do you know how to use Powerpoint?

**Jack**: Nope, sorry Mom. It isn't even on my laptop.

**Jack: **Try asking Raf, he has POINTYTITS

**Jack: **I'm so sorry, my phone has a dirty mind.

**June: **Um...

* * *

**Miko:** Hey Jack, where are u?

**Jack: **I'm with Raf at the base. Why?

**Miko:** Nothin' I was just thinking of bringing some arsenic with me.

**Miko: **OMG I meant Starbucks! Srsly!

**Miko: **Worst typo ever!

**Jack: **LOL. I actually fell off the couch when I read that!

* * *

**Wheeljack: **What are you reading?

**Arcee: **Just a little FUCKILOVEPULPYJUICE

**Wheeljack: **WTF?

**Arcee: **That was supposed to be Frankenstein...

**Wheeljack: **lol autocorrect

* * *

**Smokescreen: **Hey Bulkhead, we have patrol in like 5 min

**Bulkhead:** Sorry! I'm just finishing doing a crossdressing!

**Smokescreen:** O.o WTF Bulkhead? How did u get into Arcee's quarters?

**Bulkhead: **Sorry to scare you! I'm doing a crossword!

**Smokescreen: **The mental image will haunt me to my dying day...


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you so much to everyone that reviewed and thanks for the support :) Here are some Decepticon autocorrects!

So here is another chapter of awkward situations!

* * *

**Breakdown:** Knockout where are you? Starscream is going to flip Pittsburgh on you if you're not back soon!

**Breakdown: **Meant flip out!

**Knockout: **Lol Pittsburgh is a lot of scrap to flip on somebot

* * *

**Megatron: **Starscream! Another Predacon bone has been located in HAIRYWHORES. Go secure it before the Autobots do!

**Starscream: **Um...ok?

**Megatron: ***Harrisburg

**Starscream: **Not even going to try and understand that.

* * *

**Knockout: **Wads up?

**Knockout: **What the serious fork?

**Knockout: **Why won't this heap of scrap let me be rapist?

**Knockout: ***Real! I swear I'm not a rapist!

**Knockout: **Damn you ass cork!

**Knockout: **o.O AUTOCORRECT!

**Breakdown: **Well, this was a nice chat. See you later :D

* * *

**Predaking: **Megatron was looking at me like unwashed nuts!

**Predaking: **meant to say like I was nuts!

**Starscream: **Lol

* * *

**Knockout: **I mean not to toot my porn horn but my finish is WAY shinier than his.

**Knockout: **Well, I meant own horn but I like porn horns too ;)

**Breakdown: **XD I just fell over!

* * *

**Starscream: **There's a party in the Rec-room. Be there or be sasquatch!

**Starscream: **SQAURE! Wtf is a sasquatch?

**Dreadwing: **Fragged if I know

* * *

**Soundwave: **I have to stop trying to write reports and text at the same time. It took me a whole day yesterday!

**Knockout: **Homunculus!

**Knockout: ***Holy scrap. Wtf is a homunculus?

**Soundwave: **"an artificially made dwarf" according to a human dictionary

**Knockout: **Bahahaha!

* * *

**Knockout: **Guess what I just downloaded!

**Knockout: **Jack and the sex flasher!

**Knockout: **slag! Jack and the sex slayer

**Knockout: **Ship! Jack and the giant slayer!

**Breakdown: **Having issues?

**Knockout: **This heap of slag keeps massage my boob up!

**Breakdown: **You had boobs all this time and you never showed me? I'm so hurt!

**Knockout**: Lol. I meant messing up

.


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed. You guys are awesome! The plot bunnies have returned again and so has this story :)

On with the crackfic!

* * *

**Bumblebee: **Hey Smokescreen are you any good at blowing?

**Smokescreen: **Not since that one time in The Academy ;)

**Bumblebee: **Lol *bowling

**Bumblebee: **Wait what?

* * *

**Smokescreen: **Dude where are you?

**Jack: **Sorry Smoky! My mom asked me to help her sell her vagina on Craigslist

**Jack: **I'm photographing it and stuff

**Smokescreen: ** Take your time dude XD

**Jack: **o.O I meant china

* * *

**Bulkhead: **Party Rock Anthem stuck in my helm! Make it stop!

**Wheeljack: **Every day I'm snuffleupagus

**Wheeljack: **Shuffling* lol wtf?

**Bulkhead: **I'm lmfao XD

* * *

**Raf: **What colour is your dress again Miko?

**Miko: **fuckweasel

**Raf: **WTF?

**Miko: **fuchsia! Bahahaahaha

* * *

**Arcee: **I died a little on the inside :(

**Wheeljack: **I'll bang you back to life!

**Wheeljack: ***Bring

**Wheeljack: **I feel like a rapist now (._.)

**Arcee: **XD.I just started laughing so hard in the middle of a meeting! If looks could kill I'd be offline!

* * *

**Ultra Magnus: **Thank you for helping with the reports today Arcee

**Arcee: **Shore whalecum

**Arcee: **Sorry! Meant shore whalecum

**Arcee: **SHORE WHALECUM

**Ultra Magnus: **Do you mean you're welcome

**Arcee: **Yes! Thanks for figuring it out :D

**Ultra Magnus: **Shore whalecum

**Ultra Magnus: **Slaggit...

* * *

**Agent Fowler: **Sorry Optimus before I forget. I'm gonna be a bit Kate to the meeting tomorrow because I have a fucktard appointment.

**Optimus: **What's a fucktard appointment and who's Kate?

**Agent Fowler: ***Doctors *Late

**Agent Fowler: **Never text and drive!

* * *

**Optimus: **Sometimes Auto zucchini is right and sometimes it's horribly wrong.

**Miko: **Auto cocksucker always corrects my pancakes

**Miko: **Mistakes! What the fructose?

**Miko: **What the flounder!

**Miko: **Fiscal cliff!

**Miko: **Neurotransmitters!

**Optimus: **How do you get "neurotransmitters" from "fuck"?

**Miko: **Idk why it's even in my potato

**Miko: **I'm sorry I have to go bash my head off a wall now

**Optimus: **I'll have Ratchet on standby

* * *

I hope this is as funny as the last chapter :)


	5. Chapter 5

I'm back with more fails than ever! I hope this is as funny as the last chapter :)

* * *

**Jack:** My hand hurts! :[

**Jack: **I'm finished with Donkey Cock!

**Smokescreen: **I never thought you were into that kind of thing

**Jack: **Just put this on the internet.

**Smokescreen: **I already did

* * *

**June: **I fucked that chair at Target for $50

**June: **It was a pretty good deal

**Ratchet: **You did what?

**June: **Huh?

**Ratchet: **Read the first message you sent me

**June: **Oh my god...

**Ratchet: **Hey if that's what you actually meant no judgement here, just wait until you get it home next time

* * *

**Jack: **Hey! Guess what I got for my birthday?

**Miko: **I dunno. Tell me :)

**Jack: **A new camera! It's only five megalosaurus

**Jack: **MEGALOSAURUS

**Jack: **God donut!

**Jack: **Megafuckingpixels

**Miko: **Just fell off the couch XD

* * *

**Raf: **Christmas music playing on the radio. Makes me feel happy :]

**Raf**: Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer had a very shiny nose

**Bee**: And if you ever saw it, you might even say it globulates

**Raf: **hahahahaha wtf?

**Bee: **Autocorrect ruined Christmas!

* * *

**Bulkhead: **Hey Wheeljack are you coming with me and Miko to the kinky fuck concert?

**Bulkhead: **Oh primus I meant Linkin Park concert!

**Wheeljack: **Well first I was all for it, but now...

* * *

**Optimus: **So how'd your check-up go?

**Arcee: **Not bad, Ratchet just put me on a smurf-control pill

**Optimus: **A smurf control pill?! You have smurfs? And they need to be controlled?

**Arcee: **Oh donut! A birth control pill!

**Arcee: **FML Donuts, Smurfs. I'm a hot mess

* * *

**Wheeljack: **Happy birthday doc-bot

**Ratchet: **Thanks

**Wheeljack: **I have the biggest strap-on for you!

**Wheeljack: ***Surprise

**Wheeljack: **Not the other thing

**Ratchet: **Well this is awkward...

* * *

**Bee: **Hey Smoky whatcha up to?

**Smokescreen: **Just listening to Panic at the Dildo. Why?

**Smokescreen: **PANIC AT THE DILDO

**Bee: **Smoky no dildo is that scary. Do you mean Panic at the Disco?

**Smokescreen: **Yeah that one

* * *

**Bulkhead: **Frag! Maroon 5 stuck in my helm again!

**Wheeljack: **Again?

**Bulkhead: **I GOT THEM MOOBS LIKE JAGGER I GOT THEM MOOBS LIKE JAGGER

**Wheeljack: **MOOBS? Lmfao XD

**Bulkhead: **Lol MOVES. This just made my week

**Wheeljack: **You made me snort dammmit! You know how hard it is to make me do that? VERY!


	6. Chapter 6

Hey Guys! I don't know if these are as funny as the last few chapters. I hope you guys enjoy the chapter :)

On with the crackfic!

* * *

**Miko: **If I lie down I can't beware through my nose!

**Miko: **If you hear fatty badger tonight, it's actually me

**Jack: **Fatty badger? Miko are you high?

**Miko: **DARTH VADER WTF PHONE?

**Miko: **Beware? Breathe!

**Jack: **My stomach...hurts...ow! XD

* * *

**Bee: **Hey Raf, random questioWho's your favourite superhero?

**Raf: **Nananananananananananananana BREAST MILK!

**Raf: **Wtf o.O Batman!

**Bee: **Bahahahaha this is awesome XD

**Bee: **Autocorrect FTW

* * *

**Jack: **Nite Mom :)

**June: **Night Sweetie!

**June: **I love oblong wieners

**Jack: **Mom! O.o

**June: ***you so much

**Jack: **Can I bill Steve Jobs for the therapy I'm gonna need now?

* * *

**Wheeljack: **What time are you finished patrol?

**Bulkhead**: 8:30 why? Are you and I doin something tonite?

**Wheeljack**: Sure just gonna lick it in the Rec-room are you down?

**Wheeljack**: Lick!

**Wheeljack**: fragging k-i-c-k!

**Wheeljack**: In a dork!

**Wheeljack**: I'm a snork!

**Wheeljack**: I give up

**Bulkhead**: See you at 8:30 dude :D

* * *

**Ratchet: **Hey Wheeljack good news- Ultra Magnus is homosexual!

**Wheeljack: **Eh...okay?

**Ratchet:** Homo hot lips!

**Ratchet:** Hot tulips!

**Ratchet:** I'm getting fisted now!

**Ratchet:** Ferret!

**Ratchet**: *Grrr.

**Ratchet**: Primus Damsel!

**Ratchet**: Ultra Magnus is h-o-m-e

**Wheeljack**: Okay Ratchet. This was a nice chat XD

**Wheeljack: **Homo hot lips?!

* * *

**June:** Jack do you want mashed potatoes or bitchgobblet potatoes for dinner tonight?

**June:** What? Butthurt potatoes!

**June: **Damn auto cockroach!

**June**: I give up

**Jack**: How about we get takeout tonight?

**June: **Sure. 3 you Jack :]

* * *

**Knockout: **Do you have a minute?

**Knockout: **I need your ASSINMYFACE

**Breakdown: **Lol can we leave my aft out of this?

**Knockout: **Rofl

**Knockout: **Assistance!

**Breakdown: **Lol I'll be right over :]

* * *

**Bee: **I'm so depressed!

**Smokescreen: **Trust me, if I was with you I'd give you the biggest HUGECOCK ever :]

**Bee: **...

**Smokescreen: **I meant HIV

**Bee: **Hahahahahahahaha NOPE

**Smokescreen: **I meant hug I swear!

* * *

**Smokescreen: **I can't believe you're gonna miss it Bee. We've been planning it for weeks!

**Bee: **Look, I'm sorry I'm gonna miss the hairy penis weekend but I have to do a two day patrol as punishment for that last prank I did. Can we do it some other weekend?

**Bee:** *HAIRY POTTY

**Bee:** P-O-T-T-E-R

**Smokescreen: **XD that more than makes up for it


	7. Chapter 7

Hi guys! Sorry about the delay, I'm worried this chapter might not live up to the previous ones.

On with the crackfic!

* * *

**Bee: **Oh, primus just saw the last movie I love Crumbled pore

**Smokescreen: **What. The. Frag.

**Bee: **Fumbled ore

**Bee: **Dimpled whore

**Bee: **Lol! Dimpledore!

**Bee: **Dumbledore!

**Bee: **There I said it

**Smokescreen: **That just made my day now dude XD

* * *

**Ultra Magnus: **If you're going on patrol be careful. It's coming down really hard out there.

**Arcee: **Yeah. I can't hear myself think with the ram with the metal hooves

**Ultra Magnus: **I don't even want to ask you where you are.

* * *

**Jack: **It's official! I'm sick and I feel like sh**

**Jack: **I'm just go home and take some paracetamol and have some Chuck Norris soup

**Smokescreen: **Chuck Norris soup

**Jack: **Hell no. While I'm sure Chuck Norris soup has serious healing powers I'm out of the main ingredient! I'm gonna make do with chicken noodle instead

* * *

**Megatron: **This base is a dump

**Optimus: **Well, at least we're not tomatoes anymore.

**Megatron: **Yeah, this is infinitely better than being an organic fruit.

**Optimus: **Enemies T.T

* * *

**Bee: **I'm gonna recharge. I'll comm you at 9

**Arcee: **I wish I could recharge, Jack's neighbour has like twelve Welshmen tied to his tree and they're so fragging loud!

**Bee: **I'd be loud if I was tied to a tree too. WTF are you talking about!

**Arcee: ***windchimes

* * *

**June: **I'm so pissed! I ripped my vag today trying to stuff a pair of shoes into it!

**June: **Oh god...

**June: **Bag I swear!

**Ratchet: **Well, that's one mental image that will haunt me forever

* * *

**Wheeljack: **You would be so proud I told her holla that rated that I only facebook milk milk

**Wheeljack: **You would be proud that I sat through the Titanic with Miko

**Bulkhead: **XD the fragged up message is fragged up! Facebook milk milk? Wtf?

**Wheeljack: **I need to name this damn thing after my ex. She didn't listen to me either


	8. Chapter 8

Hi guys I'm back with another chapter! Sorry it took so long :(

On with the autocorrect :)

* * *

**Jack: **I just swallowed a huge piece of bubblegum. Is that bad?

**June: **Oh no, I've swallowed loads of cum in my life and I'm still here.

**Jack: **Ew mom TMI! O.o

**June: **I meant gum I swear!

**Jack: **Sure you did :p

* * *

**Bulkhead: **Where the frag is everyone?

**Miko: **Bumblebee, Smokescreen and Raf are playing GTA V...

**Miko: **Jack is jizzing on the couch...

**Bulkhead: **Ew are you serious?

**Miko: **on the couch jizzing

**Miko: **Jiggling

**Miko: **Chilling dammit!

**Bulkhead: **How often do you write jizzing o.0

* * *

**Breakdown: **What are you talking about?

**Knockout: **I hate auto-erection!

**Breakdown: **Do you mean auto-correct?

**Knockout: **Yeah auto-erection

**Knockout: **T.T Do you know how to turn it off

**Breakdown: **Nope, that sounds like a personal problem

* * *

**Wheeljack: **I'm heading to the store-room, need anything sexual?

**Wheeljack: ***special

**Arcee: **I could think of a few things!

**Arcee: **Lol

* * *

**Agent Fowler: **Do ducks have jackets

**Agent Fowler**: Did muck save maggots

**Agent Fowler**: !

**Agent Fowler**: Does husk make gaggles

**Agent Fowler:** Never mind

**Ratchet**: What. The. Serious. Frag

* * *

**Wheeljack: **When are you gonna ask her?

**Smokescreen: **Tonight. I'm really nervous!

**Wheeljack: **We hop it goes well

**Wheeljack: **We hopping

**Wheeljack: **Wawa skittletits

**Wheeljack: **WE HOPE

**Smokescreen: **That did not just happen! XD

**Smokescreen: **Wawa skittletits!?

* * *

**Miko: **I'm sorry you didn't get the college you wanted Jack

**Jack: **Erection is hard!

**Jack: **Ugh REJECTION is hard haha

* * *

**Bulkhead: **So how big is your new hooker?

**Bulkhead: **Homo

**Bulkhead: **Homer

**Bulkhead: **How big is your house dammit!

**Raf: **XD I'll send you pics

* * *

**Miko: **Yo I'm so horny I could eat a dong rite now ;)

**Miko: **Horny for dong!

**Miko: **Hungry for dong!

**Miko: **DONG not dong!

**Miko:** DOG

**Miko: **Fridge Auto cucumber!

**Miko: **Ferret!

**Miko: **Dude you there?

* * *

Btw, there is a poll on my profile about a new story. Be sure to check it out :)


End file.
